early Wednesday morning

it's early in the morning, and i've not quite made it to bed after a long day of writing papers and figuring out life. i had a great night with a good friend after classes tonight, we talked, laughed and shared life together.

it's been kind of a crazy week, writing papers to wrap up classes, studying, and spending some time with family. of a sad note, and more importantly, my grandfather passed away Monday evening after a long bout with some chronic back issues and congestive heart failure. it's always kind of crazy to go from hospital situations and spaces of hurt and grieving into "normal" spaces of laughing, papers, work, busy-ness over the last few days. yet sometimes i realize that becoming immersed in kind of so-called normal life helps to remind us that life and loss are normal parts of the grand narrative. it hits close to home with Pa-Pa being the last grandfather on my side of the family to be alive. and it also makes me think a lot about being a pastor and the emotional weight in being in community with people and walking through painful situations together.

i'm sure all of this is a jumbled mess, not really making any sense, partly because it is so late, partly because the majority of my brain is wrapped around unknowing in Pseudo-Dionysius' apophaticism, and partly because i have a million things running through my mind while i just want to spit out a couple of sentences. (most of which the things running around in my head are how i totally blew the final in my medieval theology class because things got crazy with my family this weekend and i didn't really get to study as i hoped...)

anyway. i've got two more papers to write in the next three weeks, but classes are over for now. i'll be getting back to more blogging and hopefully sharing some pics from the Hayden Farm. i hope all are well...

a convergence of sorts

there are always times in life when things seem to be converging in a way that help some of the often seemingly random experiences of life fit together in great ways. i've nearly finished How (not) to Speak of God by Peter Rollins, we are studying Pseudo-Dionysius (with a reading in class tonight about how mystical and apophatic theology is connected to postmodernism in my historical theology II class), and in one of my seminar classes last night called "Who is God?" my professor seemed to hint at the Derridian notion that the spirit in receiving a gift is more significant than the gift itself, a strong theme in Rollins' book...

I've also been struggling a lot with categories of late which i think has led finally to some of the above pieces fitting together, e.g.: categories with which are appropriate to talk about God, the difference between religious and scientific categories and how to talk about the difference with my friends who are not yet believers, language games, and the limited understanding of the revelation that we can understand. I've decided to write my research paper for this second of three historical theology courses on Pseudo-Dionysius and his work Mystical Theology. (my seminary doesn't have systematic theology, we instead study the content of systematic theology as the doctrines and perspectives develop over time through the course of history, philosophy, and theology. after two introductory courses which help to give a very, very broad overview of some of the theologies and doctrines that will be discussed, we are required to take Historical Theology I: Patristics, II: Medieval, and III: Reformation and Counter-Reformation to Contemporary. I have to say that I really appreciate this method of studying the plurality of perspectives deemed orthodox by the church and one of the reasons i chose The John Leland Center was for these courses, and the practice of rooting our perspectives in particular contexts and histories. It helps to show the complexity of issues rather than making things black or white.)

on a side note: i should probably not use the word "convergence" and not point people over to my good friends Todd and Lisa who are co-pastoring a church re-start called Convergence. They are doing some great stuff, and I highly recommend hanging out with their theologically imaginative community if you get a chance. better yet...create some art with them, get involved in acts of justice, and stick around for some great conversation.

lastly, i think that i'm realizing so many of the differences that arise in the conversations about the character of God, epistemology, categories, ecclesiology, and missiology arise out of differences in understanding the authority and role of scripture in church community. one of the downsides and things that i am trying to be careful not to do as i'm enjoying a brief respite of some issues and while some of my understandings and theology is coming into a time of better (yet certainly not even close to clear) focus, i want to be careful not to inflict violence on the other (especially in class) by falling into the fundamentalist trap of believing that what i perceive to be "right" thinking puts me in a better place or makes me of more value than the other who is trying their best to make sense of their theology in their particular context. it's been a great time as some of the dots have started to connect, but a humbling time as well, where the draw towards arrogant belief or "better belief" or "more correct perspective" in light of my relationship with others who do not and may never agree with me is strong. this has challenged me in class...especially in ethics and "Who is God?" to listen before disagreeing or speaking out. maybe that's why the dots are starting to connect in the first place?...